Sometimes, when there are just too many things going on in your mind, it's best to let it all out. But only you know the best way to do that. So if someone really special hurts you, it's up to you whether you want to confront and accuse them for every damn wrong thing in your life. But trust me, it doesn't work that way. You won't feel relieved about it. It just adds on to your misery. It's not like you need to "pay them back" for every little thing they did to hurt you, more so, unknowingly. That leaves no difference between you and a certain bitch.

For a change, stop thinking about it. Take a break from all those wound up emotions. That state of mind when you feel like you are the most ill-fated person in the world. Yeah yeah. You deserve all the sympathy and love in the world. You are the one who needs to be understood. You are the centre of everyone's universe. Blah blah blah.

How good does that sound anyway? Well, it doesn't. Not to me, not to an outsider. All suffering, vain.

For a change, step outside. Take a quick walk. Or maybe a long one. Whatever works. Somethings are best thought through, while you're walking all alone, looking like a fool, in the middle of a seemingly empty street while the sun scorches up above. Maybe walk past a shop where they play those 90s songs from Hindi movies which always have the potential to crack me up. Glance at the best nature can offer. Try peaking into some random douche's room in the hostel right in front of you. Have all those faculty stare at you as if you are a terrorist let loose.

Things around us are so simple and straight. Yet we end up complicating them. And in all the complication, we fail to see things for what they really are. Instead we wear these thick dark black goggles. We think we look really cool doing so, but we just look like idiots. Plus the reduced visibility, lack of appealing appearance and this unnecessary need to brag about it.

Sometimes it's easier to find a solution when you look at the problem from a distance. When you scale yourself up, zoom out. Don't keep repeating yourself in a loop that only turns out to be a bigger and bigger cypher. Use the pent up energy and kick some ass. First bit of advice I got in Backstage. Never used it.

With quite some asses and aces to go, I guess I must start studying before Compre kicks my ass. Sigh. Random vocab. Such are days. I swear I'll get back in form for YKA.

Superhero

I remember in 11^th standard, I used to go to Vidyarthi Academy. Deemed to be the best coaching class in town. It had this habit of targeting the best students from the BARC colony. So the best people from my colony (read: 10^th board toppers) were all in Vidyarthi (and they all swear, by the way, that they screwed up their JEE results BECAUSE of it). And somehow, I got in too. And then I somehow found myself in the Vidyarthi Top 40 batch (which did NOTHING for my JEE result). But it was an interesting batch to be in. It had the best among the best students. And they taught us all kinds of things that DIDN’T come in JEE. I still learnt a lot.

One thing was getting to meet newer people. And then to be treated like you are some highly intelligent person who knows-it-all. You were supposed to be the fastest and brightest. And those were the times when I actually would study. And try to emulate a superhero. 

To my friends, I was a superhero. My friends weren’t as good as I was at the JEE stuff. They were decent. And my dad always had to have a problem with my company. “Why can’t you find friends who’re smarter?” It’s like asking a kid to make friends with someone who’s rich cause it’s all about the money. How demeaning that used to be for me. I would never miss a chance to pull off my emotional-blackmail-cum-I’m-always-right role. It would never work. It still doesn’t work, damn.

And now I’m surrounded by the nerdiest of nerds. There are IEEE nerds, academic nerds, computer nerds, backstage nerds. And while I can hope my dad’s happy with my company, he’ll still not leave a chance to pin point how I’m not the best among them. Not the point.

You know how the superheroes were always the underdogs... And then they were almost never prepared to battle the super villains. There are a lot of super villains out here too. Most of them have ‘Dr’s attached, which makes them all the more dangerous (remember Dr. Octopus?)

Still, the superheroes do manage to save the world at the end, don’t they? Life at BITS is like living a superhero every single day. You don’t transform back to your normal self for 4.5 months at a stretch. And sometimes the super villains ensure that you don’t transform back even during your summer vacations. Sigh.

But while there’s no superhero who’ll rescue you from this, in the first place, all you can do is accept that you need to be awesome and save the world. And that the world won’t be able to do without you. And now I should stop sounding like Drake. However, it’s true. Be a narcissist. And be the superhero you always envisioned yourself to be (or whatever else you may want to be). You won’t regret it, trust me. And while it may get to you at times, you’ll get a lot back too. So try not to give up on it.